eternity

i am glad that i found you. never knew i would meet a person like you, who loves me the way i am.. i would say i am the most complicated girl in the world but you get through it with every patience you have. you’re all i want. i may be confused with my feelings right now, i am afraid to let my walls tumbling down. i am afraid to give you my whole heart. but i am sure, i could never love someone this much. you accept me for who i am. you love me with all your heart. you trust me without questioning me. i miss you every day. i may hurt you in so many ways but i never meant it. i wish i could never have. this can be the hard time and i suppose, we’ll end up with the good ones. fight the hardships that are coming in the way but never let anything nor anyone come between us. i would stay if you love me the same. i wanna get old with you. i wanna spend the rest of my life with you. that is how much i love you. i would do anything. as long as you promise me happiness and love. as long as you stay with me forever and never leave my side.

i love you, Ezan. 

PRAY 4 JAPAN.

the yesterday breaking news broke my heart into pieces. in Japan, they experienced Tsunami with 8.9 magnitude earthquake. while we, in brunei, were goofing around…. or celebrating big days. my heart sank when i saw the news. even worse when the name Ibaraki mentioned. i felt like crying, but no. i am good at holding my tears. anyway, Ibaraki, reminds me of the good times. hopefully everyone is safe. no deaths. i couldn’t imagine, my otosan’s reaction, nor my foster family and friends.

Pray 4 Japan.

life could be endless but not eternity.

so here i am, blogging instead of doing my physics homework. i gave up cause i couldn’t understand… yea. s’okay, tomorrow is sunday, i would spend every hour doing useful stuff. today would be the try out for houses in Katok preparing for the upcoming sports day. GOOO BLUE! team blue is like.. the coolest house ever…. and don’t you doubt it. we are COOL. i am participating the 10o m running, to avoid the march pass. i should’ve joined march pass… under some circumstances. i should.. but nah. wish me all the best or….

i’ll shoot you right in the head.

im back.. “readers”

i decided to be active on blogging again. hehe

so, school starts. 6th form at Katok was unexpectedly fun. i make friends with strangers mostly, i had no idea i am actually friendly. hahaha. i will work hard this time, since Brunei A-level is the toughest exam i’ll have soon. to achieve straight A’s is not easy, but i wouldn’t say its impossible. right? i just need a one day break from homeworks. that is.. today.

yesterday, 10th of march, i had my period cramp. to all boys : you should be lucky to be a boy and why would you want to be a girl when its torturing. (i meant no complaining against my sex right now) we, girls, have a terrific disaster monthly when boys, you can just play football everyday without complaining period cramp. while girls, have to have at least a day of holiday from doing any sports due to period cramp. i could barely walk. crying from the pain, oh thats sooo worth it. my routine got fucked up, due to this.

the long lost owner.

sorry.. for my long lost. i just had the urge of updating my wordpress.

there were so much going on in the early feb. like, my anni with ezan, dad’s birthday and… O LEVEL RESULT. yea, i got my result already and.. i had sent the admission form to PTEK. where should i start first. i guess, there nothing to start about. cause to me, its too late. too belated to greet everything i mentioned above. LOL. my result, i got 8 o’s. alhamdulillah.

just to make my blog even more alive, i’d present you…

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN.

i broke up with Ezan, well… cause i wanna be with him.

lol, thats BS.

back on holidays.

the cohort 2 program ended last tuesday. so here i am, back on holidays and buried with books to read. i am dying to know my results but the most part of me, really dont wanna know.

February Wishlists.

pretty sure i am not getting this toywatch jelly this month but this YEAR.

this urbanear probably by this friday. cause need it urgently, lost my white earpiece today! i don’t know where it went but i think i dropped it somewhere.

and at the end of the month MAYBE

cause it matches with my school bag. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. wanna by Dr. Dre. but its a bit too pricey. i do have enough money but gotta think a whole picture. i am a shopper, buying beats will just finish up my saving straight away. so yea.

am. morning. pagi.

yes, early in the morning, i am so hyped up. don’t want this feeling to go away. im in my school uniform. just realised havent posted anything about school. school was HELL OF THE DAMN (sp?) HAHAHAHA. school was fun, sadly its gonna end soon, like what? tuesday? but s’kaaay. i am too cool to be sad (not). i am having my coffee, i have to. i am coffee dependent. you really wanna read my boring post right now? YOU REALLY ARE JOBLESS PEOPLE. hahahahahahaa. or… you’re a stalker. but i just don’t care. people stalk me, come on, i bet you guys love it too if you have stalkers. eksen tia ucap ucap. sudahlah kamu.

i should stop. i can go further but i gotta go.

sweet 17.

my age is getting bigger in number but my appearance might never change. unless i have my botox or boob job. i am 17 this year.

my birthday is on 17th january

my age would be 17.

pretty cool isnt it? heh heh heh. so anyway, as usual like the past years, two celebrations were conducted by family and my best friends. (Rai and Fau) heheh. the night before, i knew there’d be a surprise so i just acted naturally. but on my birthday itself, its kinda blue. i cried.. yes, i cried. cause i wasnt allowed to go anywhere but to spend time with family. not that i dont want to but come on, i wanted to go out. so i cried and cried… until jims texted me “lajutah jalan, coffee bean,” so i smiled. texted fau and rai, they weren’t available. oh it was after school. that part made my cry even harder. on my very own birthday! they didn’t even wanna celebrate? ppppffft. so went home around 7 i guess, and there there, along said satay was in the living room. when i was about to go in, there was rai’s head popping out. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. failed but seriously, i was thrilled! and finally, i felt content. :’) thank you guys for coming. thanks to rai and fau. without you guys, i bet you know how my birthday turns out to be.

 

don’t cry please :p

i am gonna post one real emo post. can’t help it but to blurt it out.

you’ve been so good to me. but i guess its not enough. you may see this relationship is flawless. but to me, i see it differently. i was wrapped in guilt for telling what i shouldn’t have. but i can’t bottle up the feelings forever. until when? until i have a kid with you? please.. even if i tell you things, you would never get me. is that so hard to get me? am i understandable? maybe i am not. but at least, people out there get what i am trying to tell. i love you. i really do. i wanna have a baby with you (i sound desperate hahahaha!). but thats a one day thing. i can’t write no more… not gonna expose every single thing whats on my mind. though, i wish i could write it all off. but, i don’t think its appropriate.